After only a day or two back in the public school setting, I realized one reason that I have such a difficult time with discipline. I don't do well with just punishing a child for their behavior. I truly believe that punishment without any lesson serves very little purpose. Don't get me wrong. I'm a firm believer in discipline but kids needs to learn discipline for a purpose. When they're grown, they'll have to make decisions for themselves. Without any reason, they'll easily go in a bad direction. I believe that learning obedience as children assists us in obedience to God as adults. We learn to bend our will to that of authority. This means that sometimes, "because I said so" is good enough but it can't be the only way we handle our children.
They also have to learn right from wrong. If there is no God, how is there right and wrong? How is there truth? Realistically, if there is no God, no higher authority, then right and wrong is just a matter of opinion or situation.
So, how do I teach a teen-age child right from wrong apart from God? If I tell them that their behavior is wrong, isn't that just my opinion? In their experience, the behavior that they're exhibiting is completely acceptable and normal. On what authority am I saying that they're wrong. Basically, I'm trying to get them to behave a certain way because I'm more comfortable with it.
Why shouldn't they have sex before marriage? Most people do it, many of them already have. They don't see any problem with it. It's fun or pleasurable and there is no harm in it.
Why shouldn't they wear clothing that leaves little to a young man's imagination? All the women they know dress this way, unless they're just really old or ____(add whatever excuse). It looks good, it's stylish, the guys like it, and they're comfortable.
Why shouldn't they spend their money on whatever they want? They don't owe anything to anyone. It's not their problem if other people are starving or living with nothing.
Why should they get an education? Why should they place any value on doing good work? Why shouldn't they do drugs or get drunk? Why shouldn't they treat others however they want? Why should they be kind to others?
For every one of these questions, I can demonstrate and explain through scripture how each of these things can help or harm a person. Sex before marriage wasn't in God's plan. Dressing modestly can reduce temptation and shows respect for the sanctity of marriage because we're saving the full view for our spouse. Helping the poor is demonstrated through out scripture. God calls us to love our neighbor. We are to work at whatever we're doing as if for the Lord, not for man. Our body is a temple for the Holy Spirit and we should care for it in that way. Our life is a blessing form God and we should take care of it in order that He may use us as a vessel.
Of course, some people would argue that some/all of these things are up to the individual person and the Spirit convicts us each differently; however, I would argue that each of these points contain truths. We may have varying levels of conviction but none of these particular issues are really negotiable. We may struggle with them differently, but there is truth for all of us.
Apart from God, there is no truth; therefore, there is no right or wrong. So, again, how do I look at a 15 year old and tell them that what they are doing is wrong if I can't tell them on what authority I'm claiming the message?
So, why do I struggle with discipline and education in public school? Because I'm trying to teach and discipline with no authority. At least without any real authority. "Because I said so" is brought to a new level when that really is the only reason we can give a student. They don't really care about "because it's good for you" or "you'll need this in the future." If they don't care about school, "you're going to need this to pass the test" doesn't work either. They're 15; they know everything that matters and today is all they're concerned about. They are invincible after all. And of course, what do we know? We can't possibly understand what they're going through.
You see my point? How do I teach morals apart from God?
Read the book, "Marva Collins Way". She opened my eyes to ways of teaching right and wrong in ways that honor God's word but don't invoke it. Concepts like self-respect, rising above your current circumstances, striving for something better, beyond where you currently are...and she did it in a way that developed intrinsic motivation to these children. I found it to be very helpful for me as I began my teaching career, especially once I moved into the public school.
ReplyDelete