Today is September 4th. In many ways I think September got here faster than it should have. It seems that time just passes me by so quickly. On the other hand, it really feels as though a short amount of time just feels like a long amount of time. I'm not sure that makes any sense, so let me give an example.
When you think about certain things in life, it's hard to remember life before them. For example, when people talk about the 90s, I feel like that was just yesterday. Only after really thinking about it do I remember that it's been more than an entire decade since then. That seems crazy to me! When I think about my kids, I do feel like they've been here forever. I see pictures of them from years ago and it does seem like so long ago.
On the other side of that, yesterday I had a startling discovery. I was thinking about paying bills, as Floyd gets paid this week and most of our usual expenses are at the beginning of the month. I suddenly thought something was wrong because we haven't received a water bill since we returned from Uganda. My mind was trying to figure how I could have possibly missed the bill because we had to have received one by now. Suddenly, I realized that we had only been home from Uganda for exactly 1 month yesterday. Shall I say that again-we've only been home 1 month!
Oh my goodness, it's been a loooooong month! So many times I've thought fondly of UG and wished I were still there. While I'm busily trying to keep up with lesson plans, classroom management, family life, and all the other things that are going on; I still just long to be in Uganda. What would I be doing there? I have no idea.
This may not even make sense to my Ugandan friends because everyone always talks about how great things are in America. Why would I wish to be in Uganda when I'm living in America? I understand where they are coming from. I'm grateful for all that God has provided for us here. But I also know that the whole world is fallen, so no matter where we are on earth, there will be suffering. The Bible guarantees it. The suffering just looks different in different places.
The truth is, as Christians, we are not at home anywhere in this world, but God puts us in a certain place for a certain reason. In reality, I'd say for many reasons, not just one. I realize that America has so many good things that just aren't common around the globe and I'm grateful for them. The level of individual freedom is awesome, but the one thing that sticks out even more to me is the level of care that society puts into the individual. As someone who has lived years without health insurance, I could complain about outrageous costs of treatment and all sorts of other things, but the bottom line is that in most cases, I can still get treatment-whether I can pay for it or not. In most other places around the globe, if you can't pay, you don't get treated. No discussion. You can literally sit there and die because of a lack of money. There is no government system to take care of you; no vastly abundant system of charitable organizations that will help you out. You're on your own. Don't get me wrong, in general friends and family would try to help, but most of them don't have the money either.
So, while I'm grateful for the benefits of living in America, I also am grateful for the vastly different environments God put all over this planet. It just so happens that for some reason, beyond my understanding or awareness, God has particularly put a love for Uganda on my heart. After staying for 2 months this summer, I realize even more how much I just love being there. I can't explain it. I can't understand it. I can't say that I'm of any particular use to the Ugandan people. I really have nothing to say except that the only explanation is that God has drawn me there-to the other side of the globe.
So many times in the last month, I see a photo or think of a friend or for any other random reason Uganda pops into my head. So many times I have tears of joy at the thought. And I miss it. This last month seems like a REaLLY long time to me.
Did my 2 months in Uganda seem so long? I don't really know. I can't recall feeling like time was lasting so long. I know there were days that seemed long and I was glad that the weeks didn't pass any quicker. As it got closer to time to come home and I realized how much stuff I had to do when I got back, I got antsy because I knew I had stuff to do but I couldn't start on any of it. But, if I could have chosen, I would have just stayed in my routine there and let everything else go. In truth, the entire StanClan would have gladly stayed right where we were. Of course, I missed my friends and family, but I can't say that I really missed anything else. I wasn't ready to come "home." I'm sure after some time, we'd really long to see our friends and family. Occasionally, we'd wish that we could just run down the street to Whataburger or Walmart or _________, but I think those moments would pass.
We still don't know exactly what the Lord has planned for us, but we continue to pray for guidance and patience in the waiting. Floyd gets to return to Uganda in just a few weeks, on September 23rd, to help with some planning. I must admit, I am so jealous. Don't get me wrong, I know it all makes sense, but boy would I love to be on that plane! Of course, I know my daughter would, too. The boys haven't really been as verbal about it, but Raegan has mentioned it several times over the last few weeks. I'm just hoping I don't cry when he leaves. ;)
When you think about certain things in life, it's hard to remember life before them. For example, when people talk about the 90s, I feel like that was just yesterday. Only after really thinking about it do I remember that it's been more than an entire decade since then. That seems crazy to me! When I think about my kids, I do feel like they've been here forever. I see pictures of them from years ago and it does seem like so long ago.
On the other side of that, yesterday I had a startling discovery. I was thinking about paying bills, as Floyd gets paid this week and most of our usual expenses are at the beginning of the month. I suddenly thought something was wrong because we haven't received a water bill since we returned from Uganda. My mind was trying to figure how I could have possibly missed the bill because we had to have received one by now. Suddenly, I realized that we had only been home from Uganda for exactly 1 month yesterday. Shall I say that again-we've only been home 1 month!
Oh my goodness, it's been a loooooong month! So many times I've thought fondly of UG and wished I were still there. While I'm busily trying to keep up with lesson plans, classroom management, family life, and all the other things that are going on; I still just long to be in Uganda. What would I be doing there? I have no idea.
This may not even make sense to my Ugandan friends because everyone always talks about how great things are in America. Why would I wish to be in Uganda when I'm living in America? I understand where they are coming from. I'm grateful for all that God has provided for us here. But I also know that the whole world is fallen, so no matter where we are on earth, there will be suffering. The Bible guarantees it. The suffering just looks different in different places.
The truth is, as Christians, we are not at home anywhere in this world, but God puts us in a certain place for a certain reason. In reality, I'd say for many reasons, not just one. I realize that America has so many good things that just aren't common around the globe and I'm grateful for them. The level of individual freedom is awesome, but the one thing that sticks out even more to me is the level of care that society puts into the individual. As someone who has lived years without health insurance, I could complain about outrageous costs of treatment and all sorts of other things, but the bottom line is that in most cases, I can still get treatment-whether I can pay for it or not. In most other places around the globe, if you can't pay, you don't get treated. No discussion. You can literally sit there and die because of a lack of money. There is no government system to take care of you; no vastly abundant system of charitable organizations that will help you out. You're on your own. Don't get me wrong, in general friends and family would try to help, but most of them don't have the money either.
So, while I'm grateful for the benefits of living in America, I also am grateful for the vastly different environments God put all over this planet. It just so happens that for some reason, beyond my understanding or awareness, God has particularly put a love for Uganda on my heart. After staying for 2 months this summer, I realize even more how much I just love being there. I can't explain it. I can't understand it. I can't say that I'm of any particular use to the Ugandan people. I really have nothing to say except that the only explanation is that God has drawn me there-to the other side of the globe.
So many times in the last month, I see a photo or think of a friend or for any other random reason Uganda pops into my head. So many times I have tears of joy at the thought. And I miss it. This last month seems like a REaLLY long time to me.
Did my 2 months in Uganda seem so long? I don't really know. I can't recall feeling like time was lasting so long. I know there were days that seemed long and I was glad that the weeks didn't pass any quicker. As it got closer to time to come home and I realized how much stuff I had to do when I got back, I got antsy because I knew I had stuff to do but I couldn't start on any of it. But, if I could have chosen, I would have just stayed in my routine there and let everything else go. In truth, the entire StanClan would have gladly stayed right where we were. Of course, I missed my friends and family, but I can't say that I really missed anything else. I wasn't ready to come "home." I'm sure after some time, we'd really long to see our friends and family. Occasionally, we'd wish that we could just run down the street to Whataburger or Walmart or _________, but I think those moments would pass.
We still don't know exactly what the Lord has planned for us, but we continue to pray for guidance and patience in the waiting. Floyd gets to return to Uganda in just a few weeks, on September 23rd, to help with some planning. I must admit, I am so jealous. Don't get me wrong, I know it all makes sense, but boy would I love to be on that plane! Of course, I know my daughter would, too. The boys haven't really been as verbal about it, but Raegan has mentioned it several times over the last few weeks. I'm just hoping I don't cry when he leaves. ;)
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