This past week we helped our daughter move in with her grandparents. She doesn't actually graduate from high school until May and she won't leave for college until August, but we have to make this change early. Since we're leaving for Cambodia, it works out better for her to stay in the US to finish high school and do all the necessary things in the process of her next stage in life.
We've always prepared our kids to be independent and ready to step out into the world when the time came. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God's workmanship, created in Christ to do the good works that God prepared for us in advance. We want them to passionately pursue all those things that God has planned for them.
That's why this is bittersweet. We should have another 7 months of being together. I want her to step out into the next phase with great excitement, but I also love having her around every day.
While she's my daughter and 20 years younger than me, we're good friends. Not in the way that has a negative connotation. There's never been any confusion about the fact that I'm the mother and that has certain implicit characteristics. I'm the first one to correct her when necessary. I'm also the one with the highest expectations. As her mother and her sister in Christ, I take a strong stance in pointing her to Christ and lovingly admonishing her as she grows in her walk with the Lord.
But, the rest of the time - most of the time - we're friends. We talk about lots of things, laugh at similar jokes, share the same kind of logic, discuss and challenge each other on social issues, think through the meaning of life, discuss great books (and not so great ones), and lots of other things. Sometimes we just sit next to each other reading our books and enjoying our location.
One experience in Uganda comes to mind. We were working in a medical clinic all day for about 12 days in a row. We talked and interacted as we worked all day, but also sat down together and talked through lunch. After a couple of days, a young Ugandan man said, "what do you have to talk about? How do you talk to each other so much?" We had known this young man for a few years and were taken by surprise at this question. We didn't understand why he was asking. He explained, "I see you at lunch every day just talking, and all day just talking. We don't talk to our parents here. As a young person, the only time my parents talked to me was to correct or discipline me. Even now, I talk to my dad from time to time, but not that much. So, what are you talking about?"
We were so surprised. It wasn't something we had really thought about. We told him that we just talk about a lot of things. Whatever comes into our minds. We like talking to each other. He thought that was interesting. It wasn't a bad thing, it just wasn't something he had every seen before.
Now, not only is my daughter stepping out a little further into the world, my good friend won't be there to have random conversations or joke or ponder the big thoughts. I know we'll still communicate. It's not the first time we've been apart. We send text messages and other things, but it still won't be the same.
It reminds me of a few years ago when were preparing to move to Uganda and Floyd had to pass on his job as the worship leader at our church, Living Springs. It was also bittersweet. To follow the Lord, we get to enjoy a great adventure in this life, but it also has its costs. We have to let go of the things we like along with the things we're glad to say goodbye to.
In this case, I have to let go of 7 more months of living in the same house as my daughter. Definitely nothing compared to losing a child or anything like that, but it still has little a sting.
In Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love, he asks, "How many of us would really leave our families, our jobs, our education, our friends, our connections, our familiar surroundings, and our homes if Jesus asked us to? If He just showed up and said, "Follow Me"? No explanation. No directions."
I am so grateful that I get to have my husband and some of my family with me and I have some direction. But, I hope that I'd be willing to go anywhere, no matter what.
That's why this is bittersweet. We should have another 7 months of being together. I want her to step out into the next phase with great excitement, but I also love having her around every day.
While she's my daughter and 20 years younger than me, we're good friends. Not in the way that has a negative connotation. There's never been any confusion about the fact that I'm the mother and that has certain implicit characteristics. I'm the first one to correct her when necessary. I'm also the one with the highest expectations. As her mother and her sister in Christ, I take a strong stance in pointing her to Christ and lovingly admonishing her as she grows in her walk with the Lord.
But, the rest of the time - most of the time - we're friends. We talk about lots of things, laugh at similar jokes, share the same kind of logic, discuss and challenge each other on social issues, think through the meaning of life, discuss great books (and not so great ones), and lots of other things. Sometimes we just sit next to each other reading our books and enjoying our location.
One experience in Uganda comes to mind. We were working in a medical clinic all day for about 12 days in a row. We talked and interacted as we worked all day, but also sat down together and talked through lunch. After a couple of days, a young Ugandan man said, "what do you have to talk about? How do you talk to each other so much?" We had known this young man for a few years and were taken by surprise at this question. We didn't understand why he was asking. He explained, "I see you at lunch every day just talking, and all day just talking. We don't talk to our parents here. As a young person, the only time my parents talked to me was to correct or discipline me. Even now, I talk to my dad from time to time, but not that much. So, what are you talking about?"
We were so surprised. It wasn't something we had really thought about. We told him that we just talk about a lot of things. Whatever comes into our minds. We like talking to each other. He thought that was interesting. It wasn't a bad thing, it just wasn't something he had every seen before.
Now, not only is my daughter stepping out a little further into the world, my good friend won't be there to have random conversations or joke or ponder the big thoughts. I know we'll still communicate. It's not the first time we've been apart. We send text messages and other things, but it still won't be the same.It reminds me of a few years ago when were preparing to move to Uganda and Floyd had to pass on his job as the worship leader at our church, Living Springs. It was also bittersweet. To follow the Lord, we get to enjoy a great adventure in this life, but it also has its costs. We have to let go of the things we like along with the things we're glad to say goodbye to.
In this case, I have to let go of 7 more months of living in the same house as my daughter. Definitely nothing compared to losing a child or anything like that, but it still has little a sting.
In Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love, he asks, "How many of us would really leave our families, our jobs, our education, our friends, our connections, our familiar surroundings, and our homes if Jesus asked us to? If He just showed up and said, "Follow Me"? No explanation. No directions."
I am so grateful that I get to have my husband and some of my family with me and I have some direction. But, I hope that I'd be willing to go anywhere, no matter what.
Comments
Post a Comment